Sympathy fail

[gwalla]

When I saw the obituary for Billy Mays, my first thought was "Who says there's never any good news in the paper?"

Comments

[danihana.livejournal.com]

You're such a fucking dick sometimes.

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

I know.

[lilmikeegee.livejournal.com]

i felt more sympathy for mays than farrah, MJ, and mcmahon combined

[scribe-of-stars.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm sad that Mays is dead. I never bought anything he advertised, but his pitch was unforgettable and sometimes downright funny.

Don't think it's over, though. When the dead rise from their graves, Billy Mays will be the first harbinger of doom. We'll turn on our televisions and there he'll be, missing an arm, an eye, and lots of skin:

"BILLY MAYS HERE, BACK FROM THE GRAVE, FOR ZOMBI-CLEAN--THE BEST CLEANER FOR TIDYING UP AFTER HORDES THE RAVENOUS UNDEAD INVADE YOUR HOME! DO YOU HAVE TROUBLE GETTING BLOOD STAINS AND BITS OF BRAINS OUT OF YOUR CLOTHES ONCE YOU'VE BLASTED A GHOUL'S HEAD OFF WITH A SHOTGUN?! NOT ANYMORE, THANKS TO ZOMBI-CLEAN! WATCH THIS!..."

At that point, of course, we'll hear thumping, scratching and moaning at the door.